Well there was a day in my DIY life where I would have attacked the project myself after all it was going to be simple, just replace old sheet vinyl floors in both of my bathrooms with new laminate wood floors. More and more these days I find it difficult to walk, have to use a cane, difficult time getting up and down, have to use one of those electric lift chairs, have to have an ADA height toilet, grab bars in the shower and the list goes on and on. Hell, it’s time to admit that with my infirmities it easy to say “my get up and go done got up and went” ! With all this in mind I hired a local handyman service to do the job for me and the nightmare began. Thus began what I refer to as MULTIPLE SYSTEMS FAILURES or Murphy’s law in effect. For those of you that may not know of Murphy’s law, it’s a 10 tenet list of all the things that can go wrong with a project but the 2 most frequently in action and especially for me this past week were:
1. IF ANYTHING CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG IT WILL
2. IF MORE THAN ONE THING CAN GO WRONG THE ONE THAT WILL CAUSE THE MOST DAMAGE WILL OCCUR FIRST AND EACH IN SUCCESSION IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE.
Meanwhile back to the project. I made the contract with the handyman for a fixed amount of money and for that he would remove the toilets and replace them and as would be expected include new wax rings, replace the sub floor using stainless steel screws, float the seams so as to provide a even surface for the new floor, install the new laminate floor and trim out with matching molding. Additionally I decided to change the vanity out in one bathroom with a newer style with drawers replacing the old one that had only doors and had always annoyed me. The handyman said no problem he would do that as part of the same money because to do the job properly and more easily he was going to remove the old one anyway. Because both bathrooms were going to be useless for the 2 day repair and refurbish my trusty dog, “Nate” (see previous blogs for a pic), and I moved to my best friend’s home to wait it out. What was estimated to be a 2 day job turned into 3 days and even then nothing but problems and a real possibility at small claims court or a local handyman with multiple fractures of the knee caps.
The problems began simply enough. I bought the vanity and found it still sitting in its box on the carport after the handyman called to say he was done. His explanation, the plumbing came in from the side and the vanity was only cut out in the back and so it wouldn’t fit. A simple cut out of the side which was against the wall and unseen made that a simple fix along with a verbal attitude adjustment delivered by my trusty friend “Crash and burn Hennecy” who is not known for his tactful way of dealing with people who get on his bad side. I don’t think the handyman now believes that Mike has a good side at all.
Again we get a call that the vanity is in and the job is done….well except that we have a small leak that the handyman has been unable to repair and he had left the job with the water turned off. Small leak? Both toilets were leaking from the tanks, the shut off valves and from underneath and had flooded the new subfloor and laminate and my newly purchased and much loved TOTO Washlet was also leaking. A licensed plumber and $240 later I had new shut off valves, one badly corroded and in need of replacement because it would no longer work, the other badly damaged by the handyman, 2 new flanges , under one toilet where the old one was rusted out under other where the handyman had damaged it while installing the sub floor, replacement of a lost gasket in the Washlet , lost when he took it apart when removing the toilets and 2 sets of double wax rings to compensate for the new floor height. Along with all this he had installed the faucet back on the new sink top and used no thread teflon tape or pipe dope and no plumbers putty thus when you turn on the faucet you get about as much water from under the faucet as out of the faucet. We didn’t discover this latter fact until after the plumber had left. “Crash and Burn” will attempt to fix this which will probably start a whole new cycle of Murphy’s law. Thankfully there is nothing electrical involved because Mike’s history of new electrocutions is legend.
Additionally we found that in installing the vanity he had ripped large sections of wallpaper away, cut out several pieces of molding that had disappeared with the trash and hadn’t bother to mitre any corners of the moldings in either bathroom having wasted $80 worth of custom pre-stained molding that matched the new laminate flooring. The handyman has promised for 3 days to return and repair some of his problems but I think the fact that I have been watching the door with a shotgun in hand has deterred his efforts.
The lessons to be learned? Know your handyman better and get all in writing. My own rule that I violated because the handyman was slick talking and the job so simple which is also why Mike paid him in full before the job was finished (sob story on his part...big heart on Mike's heart). Know that things can go wrong that aren’t anyone’s fault such as my old corroded shut off valve and flange. Of course finally know that nothing in DIY is ever easy so have the ultimate respect for Murphy’s law and know that it will prevail. I long for the days when I could do it myself and didn’t have to depend on others.
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